So, Mr. Octopus is out of town for a few days, and I am kickin' it here by myself in our apartment. Did you ever see the episode of Sex and the City where Carrie is nervous about Aidan moving in because she won't be free to enjoy her secret single behaviors, the things you only do when you're totally alone? Well, because of Mr. Octo's trip, I have been indulging in a few secret single behaviors of my own, and because there is no shame on the Internet, I'm going to tell you what they are.
When Mr. Octopus is out of town.....
.....I do not eat well. Mr. O is a really good cook, is really into non-processed foods, and is usually in charge of making dinner. Most nights, he makes a big, healthy meal that includes an entree and a side. Yesterday, alone, I ate one of those tangy frozen yogurts for lunch (and I can't imagine the staff of my local Berryline doesn't recognize me by now) and two slices of toast with peanut butter and a pear for dinner. And some tortilla chips. And I enjoyed it.
.....I watch ridiculous things. The last time he went out of town, I had a multi-day Sex and the City marathon. This time, I did a double-header of Notting Hill and My Best Friend's Wedding on Netflix Instant Watch while cutting out liners for our invitation envelopes. It's not even like I can't watch silly romantic comedies when he's around, because he might grumble a little about it, but I sit through Dr. Who, Battlestar Galactica, and a re-watch of all six seasons of LOST, so he owes me. But, for some reason, I just enjoy watching fluffy things a lot more by myself. Also, I hadn't seen My Best Friend's Wedding in years and years, and upon re-watch last night, realized that the premise of the movie is actually kind of insane and disturbing, am I right?
.....I am a HUGE couch potato. Mr. Octo and I usually prompt each other to get up, move around, and do things, but when I'm alone.....nope. I could be a professional relaxer, if such a thing existed. Left to my own devices, I am perfectly happy to spend hours and hours and hours lounging around. Reading, watching movies, surfing around on the Internet, whatever. Case in point: it is mid-afternoon as I write this, and I am still unshowered. In fact, I am still in my pajamas. I ate breakfast at noon. Because I am still on the job market following graduation, I have a LOT of free time on my hands. There are probably several more hours of lounging in my future today.
.....I am a paranoid maniac. This one is not fun, but it's true. Whenever I have to sleep alone in our apartment, I double-check the shower and all the closets to ensure there are no criminals hiding inside. I triple-check the locks on the door. I quadruple-check the fire escape. And I sleep with a kitchen knife on the end table. Yes, I do. I watch a LOT of SVU, you guys. You can't be too careful.
So there you go. All my secret single behavior, confessed. Your turn: what are the things you do only when your significant other is gone and you're alone?