The Secret Underneath My Dress

Everyone, please don't take my girly-girl membership card away for the admission I'm about to make, but--I am not a shoe girl. I can appreciate the aesthetics of a really beautiful pair, but I don't know, they just aren't my first (or second, or third, or fourth) passion, as far as indulgences go. My lukewarm feelings toward shoes may also have something to do with the fact that I am absolutely incapable of walking prettily in a steep pair of heels. No kidding, I strap on anything over 3 inches--okay, let's get real, 2.5 inches--and I'm lurching and staggering around like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Not. Cute.

So, my total klutzhood is one main reason why I will not be sporting anything along these adorable lines on my wedding day:



(Source for all.)

The other reason is one of height. I'm five foot seven, and Mr. Octopus is juuuuust about five foot ten. (Psssst. He's totally five nine. Don't tell him I told you.) I like looking shorter than him, especially in pictures. And if I want a substantial height difference, then my shoes need to be as low to the ground as possible.

I've found a few cute options--these two stuck out at me as possible contenders:



(Sources here and here.)

But can I be totally honest here? What I really, really, really want to wear under my wedding dress are these:


(Source.)

Oh yes I did go there. Twenty-five dollar rubber flip flops from J. Crew. Listen, I wear flip flops aaaaall the tiiiiiime. I wear them nearly every day for as long as the weather possibly allows, and I don't even care that it's not so super stylish. To me, they are the most comfortable footwear that a person could reasonably sport in public (ie., one step below giant grandma slippers). Anybody who knows me could tell you that I am really serious about how much I love wearing flip flops.

I know that plenty of brides change out of their pretty heels into comfier shoes after the ceremony and the pictures are over, but I really just want to wear these all day long. Honestly, who's gonna see 'em? I don't have any particular interest in shoe pictures, either by themselves or once they're on my feet (see above, re: not a shoe girl), so who other than me would know that I'm wearing the world's most comfortable footwear underneath my gown?

On the other hand, I can already hear the "TRAGIC!!!" and the "OH MY GOD YOU CANNOT WEAR FLIP FLOPS WITH YOUR WEDDING DRESS!!!" escaping from the mouths of certain bridesmaids-who-shall-remain-nameless, so I'm going to see what you all think. Rubber flip flops for a decidedly non-beach wedding: viable or cringe-inducing option?