Monday, May 17, 2010

Deep Thoughts Inspired by MTV Reality Programming

Okay, first of all, tell me that I am not the only one who is overcome with glee when they hear that heartbeat noise on the TV, followed by the appearance of this logo:


Other than the hypnotic nine-week blaze of glory that was Jersey Shore, this is the only MTV show that I am truly devoted to. And last night, I happened upon an episode that made me think about my upcoming marriage and life as a newlywed. It wasn't the old school one with the guy threatening to gut his limo driver "like *$#!?!# cattle," either, although that one NEVAH gets old. This episode was pretty new, I think, and called "True Life: I'm a Newlywed."

The show profiled two couples who had never lived together before their weddings, and were in the process of moving in and settling down together. One of the couples hadn't so much as kissed before their wedding ceremony, so their storyline pretty much just covered how psyched they were to be getting bizzay, but the other couple's story focused more on their adjustment to the practicalities of living together for the first time: managing finances, keeping the house clean, and so on. Which then made me think, huh. I wonder what my newlywed life with Mr. Octopus is going to look like?

I have to think that the answer is: pretty much exactly like it does right now. We've lived together for almost four years. We have long moved past the processes of deciding where to live, how to combine our stuff, and how to divide up household responsibilities (mostly. More like still working on that one). We even fully combined our money a year ago. I think that marriage, emotionally, will feel different than living together does; I expect that the commitment is going to feel far weightier, and I expect that we will feel closer. Even being engaged feels different than just living together did. I think much farther into our future than I used to, and we now often refer to ourselves and Daffodil as "our family," as in, "Miss Octopus, we should seriously think about whether upgrading to a much-nicer-but-MUCH-more-expensive apartment right now would really be the best decision for our family." (It wasn't. Sob.)

But the actual after-the-honeymoon-is-over transition? Nada. Straight back into the same apartment with the same day-to-day life. I sometimes feel overwhelmed by the "bigness" of marriage, and my lifestyle with Mr. O has been, for all intents and purposes, pretty much just like marriage already. It made me really curious about how the brides who are going to be living with their spouses for the first time after the wedding feel about the transition. So, for those of you who haven't lived with your fiances before, do you have any thoughts or expectations about how it will be? Does it feel like a big change to you? Are you trying to prepare yourselves for your new life with your spouse? I'd love to hear from you on this!

Oh, and what's your fave episode of True Life? I could never pick just one, but I tend to love the episodes that feature body modifications or super-quirky lifestyle choices the best.

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